Over 18 years ago I had the joy of bringing my oldest into the world. It was a painful process, but there was joy at her arrival. Last weekend I had the privilege of taking her to college. From the day she was born she was destined for this, and I as her mother, had to undergo another kind of labor...the labor of letting go.
It was a new kind of birth...Courtney spreading her wings and finding out what God has designed her to be. There is joy in seeing her try out her wings and succeed. But there is death in this process too. The pain of childbirth has returned, not the physical contractions to bring new life into the world, but the emotional ones of letting go and trusting God to continue to do His will in her life. At the end of labor I had a child in my arms. At the end of this new kind of labor, my arms are empty of her embrace.
Isn't this what motherhood is all about? To give them wings so they can fly-to become who they were designed to be...but just as a kernel of wheat must die in order for new grain to grow, the season of mothering Courtney is also dying...to create new life in her. Oh, the dying is painful but I know that joy will come in the morning!
Showing posts with label teenagers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label teenagers. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Boys and Soap
Alright, I must confess that with our move there is one bathroom in our house that has been neglected...the boy's bathroom. It is downstairs near their room and over the past month I have overlooked it, not intentionally, but life is busy with seven children and many boxes to unpack.
A few days ago I decided to conquer the bathroom. I donned latex gloves and gathered my cleaning supplies. I tackled the sink first and then went on to clean the shower. To my surprise there was no soap. It wasn't that the soap had been all used up...there was no evidence that soap had ever been in the shower!
I called two of my preteen boys to the bathroom. "Where is the soap you have been using during the past month?" Their response was simply, "There wasn't any in there so we didn't use any." My mouth dropped open as I said, "You haven't used any soap in a month!?" They just shrugged their shoulders and smiled. I quickly opened the bathroom closet door and showed them the two neatly boxed bars of soap just waiting to be used.
"When you take a shower use soap...every time. If it is gone ask me and I will get you some more." They nodded, smiled and left the bathroom. I thought, "Surely my teenage son has his own soap that he has stashed away after each shower." After the same line of questioning I discovered the results were the same...no soap!
Isn't is interesting? For a whole month they have simply rinsed off and thought it was good enough. They knew about the soap because they are the ones that actually put it in the closet after I bought it. They have been taught how to take a shower but they didn't take the time to go to the closet, open the door, take out the box of soap, put it in the shower and use it.
Hmmm...I wonder how much of my life has been similar this past month regarding my time with the Lord. I know I need time with God, I know where my Bible is, I know what I need to do in order to have a "quiet" time in my home but somehow the distractions of life have crept into my life. Okay, I haven't gone a whole month without a quiet time, but I also haven't spent the time bathing in the Word of God and letting His Spirit cleanse me from the inside out. More often than not I've had a "rinsing" rather than a "cleansing". So often I've gone through the motions to check it off my list, rather than going with a heart ready to hear from the Lord.
I'm not thankful that my boys have gone so long without a proper scrubbing, but I am thankful for the ways that God uses the ordinary things of this life to teach me more about Himself. We all learned a lesson from this one!
A few days ago I decided to conquer the bathroom. I donned latex gloves and gathered my cleaning supplies. I tackled the sink first and then went on to clean the shower. To my surprise there was no soap. It wasn't that the soap had been all used up...there was no evidence that soap had ever been in the shower!
I called two of my preteen boys to the bathroom. "Where is the soap you have been using during the past month?" Their response was simply, "There wasn't any in there so we didn't use any." My mouth dropped open as I said, "You haven't used any soap in a month!?" They just shrugged their shoulders and smiled. I quickly opened the bathroom closet door and showed them the two neatly boxed bars of soap just waiting to be used.
"When you take a shower use soap...every time. If it is gone ask me and I will get you some more." They nodded, smiled and left the bathroom. I thought, "Surely my teenage son has his own soap that he has stashed away after each shower." After the same line of questioning I discovered the results were the same...no soap!
Isn't is interesting? For a whole month they have simply rinsed off and thought it was good enough. They knew about the soap because they are the ones that actually put it in the closet after I bought it. They have been taught how to take a shower but they didn't take the time to go to the closet, open the door, take out the box of soap, put it in the shower and use it.
Hmmm...I wonder how much of my life has been similar this past month regarding my time with the Lord. I know I need time with God, I know where my Bible is, I know what I need to do in order to have a "quiet" time in my home but somehow the distractions of life have crept into my life. Okay, I haven't gone a whole month without a quiet time, but I also haven't spent the time bathing in the Word of God and letting His Spirit cleanse me from the inside out. More often than not I've had a "rinsing" rather than a "cleansing". So often I've gone through the motions to check it off my list, rather than going with a heart ready to hear from the Lord.
I'm not thankful that my boys have gone so long without a proper scrubbing, but I am thankful for the ways that God uses the ordinary things of this life to teach me more about Himself. We all learned a lesson from this one!
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Caught
As a mom I have often prayed that if my children were doing something they shouldn't be doing that they would be caught in the act. Many times God has answered these prayers. Although it has been awhile since I have voiced that prayer, it is a prayer that God still answers...
Just last week while I was preparing for a friend to arrive I walked to the closet to put some things away. I noticed a folded piece of paper lying on the floor inside the closet. "It looks like someone just tossed this in here." I thought to myself. I unfolded the piece of computer paper and was immediately saddened. It had a picture that had obviously been downloaded and printed from the internet. One of my sons had gone to a place he shouldn't have been on the computer and printed off an image that was inappropriate.
"Give me wisdom, Oh Lord, as I confront my son" I whispered as I went looking for him. During those moments as I waited for him to arrive God gave me an incredible peace. Yes, I was heartbroken for him and his sin, but I was also thankful that God had opened the door for him to be caught so this sin could be dealt with now, rather than be allowed to grow in secret and silence.
"John*, I am going to ask you something, " I said as I spoke to him, "And I want your word that you will be completely honest with me." He agreed and I went on. "Have you been anywhere on the computer where you shouldn't have been?" His gaze went from my face to the floor and then he noticed that I had a folded piece of paper under my arm. "I guess you already know that I have since you have that paper. I was going to throw it away and talk to Joe* about it." (Joe is an older young man that my son had been on a youth retreat with several months earlier. Joe is a godly young man. During the retreat he had been very open about the struggles to remain pure in this generation with pornography so easy to access through the internet.)
I was thankful that John was not defensive, that he felt bad about what he had done, and that he had a plan to confess his sin to another person. As we spoke further I asked how he came upon this picture. He had not gone looking for it. He was searching for answers to his school assignment for a particular country. When he clicked on the link for the country there were models along the side. So, right there he had a choice to click on the model or to look away.
As a mom it saddens my heart to know that even though we have put safeguards in place, temptations will seek out my sons. The devil does "prowl around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." Pornography is a sin that can destroy the hearts and lives of men. As parents we not only need to put safeguards in place, but we need to train them what to do when the temptation comes looking for them.
In this day of easy internet access (even through cell phones) we need to train our children how to handle the temptation. They need to know how to flee from it and how to confess it to another person if they stumble. We also need to continue to press into their lives and ask them tough questions and check up on things like the internet history on our computer to see what sites have been visited. "Trust but verify" is a favorite slogan of my husband. To think, "My son (or daughter) would never do such a thing" is to set your child up for failure. Teach them righteousness, but train them for the battle so they can stand firm in this day of temptation.
*names changed
Just last week while I was preparing for a friend to arrive I walked to the closet to put some things away. I noticed a folded piece of paper lying on the floor inside the closet. "It looks like someone just tossed this in here." I thought to myself. I unfolded the piece of computer paper and was immediately saddened. It had a picture that had obviously been downloaded and printed from the internet. One of my sons had gone to a place he shouldn't have been on the computer and printed off an image that was inappropriate.
"Give me wisdom, Oh Lord, as I confront my son" I whispered as I went looking for him. During those moments as I waited for him to arrive God gave me an incredible peace. Yes, I was heartbroken for him and his sin, but I was also thankful that God had opened the door for him to be caught so this sin could be dealt with now, rather than be allowed to grow in secret and silence.
"John*, I am going to ask you something, " I said as I spoke to him, "And I want your word that you will be completely honest with me." He agreed and I went on. "Have you been anywhere on the computer where you shouldn't have been?" His gaze went from my face to the floor and then he noticed that I had a folded piece of paper under my arm. "I guess you already know that I have since you have that paper. I was going to throw it away and talk to Joe* about it." (Joe is an older young man that my son had been on a youth retreat with several months earlier. Joe is a godly young man. During the retreat he had been very open about the struggles to remain pure in this generation with pornography so easy to access through the internet.)
I was thankful that John was not defensive, that he felt bad about what he had done, and that he had a plan to confess his sin to another person. As we spoke further I asked how he came upon this picture. He had not gone looking for it. He was searching for answers to his school assignment for a particular country. When he clicked on the link for the country there were models along the side. So, right there he had a choice to click on the model or to look away.
As a mom it saddens my heart to know that even though we have put safeguards in place, temptations will seek out my sons. The devil does "prowl around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." Pornography is a sin that can destroy the hearts and lives of men. As parents we not only need to put safeguards in place, but we need to train them what to do when the temptation comes looking for them.
In this day of easy internet access (even through cell phones) we need to train our children how to handle the temptation. They need to know how to flee from it and how to confess it to another person if they stumble. We also need to continue to press into their lives and ask them tough questions and check up on things like the internet history on our computer to see what sites have been visited. "Trust but verify" is a favorite slogan of my husband. To think, "My son (or daughter) would never do such a thing" is to set your child up for failure. Teach them righteousness, but train them for the battle so they can stand firm in this day of temptation.
*names changed
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