Holding On Instead of Letting Go

First Birthday Celebration

In April we celebrated MaryElise's first birthday. It was a fun celebration of her life. One thing we had for her to wear was a little princess birthday hat. The hat was fuzzy along the bottom and fit on like a hairband. When I put it on her in the high chair she didn't seem to mind. Later in the day however, whenever it was put on her head she cried. In fact, she even started crying when she saw the hat.

As evening approached we had cake and presents. Sometime during the opening of presents I wondered what MaryElise would do if we handed her the birthday hat. So, one of her brothers picked up the hat and I handed it to her. She took it in her hand and looked at me with tears in her eyes as if to say, "What are you doing to me?" She cried, but continued to hold on to the hat. All she had to do was let go and move away from the hat but she didn't let go. She held on tight and cried even harder. Finally I took the hat away and comforted my baby.

I learned a lesson that day about my own life. How much am I like MaryElise? There are things in my own life that I continue to hold on to that I really need to let go of...hurt feelings that cause bitterness to grow, unkind words that need to be stopped before they leave my lips, temptations that I need to flee from rather than embracing. It is so easy to hold onto things that hurt us and others rather than letting go and walking away. God gives us the ability by His Spirit to flee from temptation, to forgive when we have been hurt, and to speak words of kindness and truth.

I am so thankful for my precious daughter and the way God continues to use her life to teach me more about myself and about Him too!

Waiting on God

Lessons from my Children

Sometimes I am surprised by the way God uses my children to teach me lessons about Himself.



I must confess that sometimes I get frustrated at my children's response to "wait just a minute" or if I tell them "no". In their impatience or disappointment they show a lack of trust in me as their mom. Don't they know that I love them and I want what is best for them? Sometimes my "no" might be because I have a surprise waiting for them right around the corner or my "no" might be because I know what is best for them. To give in to their demands would mean the best would be spoiled (and they might be too!)



But how often have I treated God the same way? When my prayers go unanswered or God says, "No" to my request, I question if He really knows what is best. Instead of looking at His character I look at my circumstances to determine my joy and contentment. What a mistake!



As we have waited for our house to sell we have been disappointed by 3 low offers. We have also lost the perfect house we made a contingent offer on in Washington. It has been easy to doubt, to question, and to second guess decisions we have made.



During this period of waiting God has been working. He has not been surprised by the low offers we have received. He has not been surprised that the house we wanted got another offer. He has not been surprised that we are still in Arkansas. He has a purpose and a plan in every part of our waiting.



We have seen God's provision in allowing Courtney to finish her sophomore year here in Arkansas. We have been thankful for more time with friends here in this state. God has taught me more about His character and His faithfulness. God has given me time to allow my trust and faith in Him to grow rather than to rely on my circumstances.

I looked up wait in the Merriam -Webster dictionary and here are some of the definitions:

• to stay in a place of expectation of
• to look forward to expectantly
• to be ready and available

That gives me a better idea of what it means to wait upon the Lord...rather than thinking of being deprived it gives a picture of eager expectation.

"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." Psalm 27:14

"Blessed is the one who listens to me, watching daily at my gates, waiting beside my doors." Proverbs 8:34

"The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him." Lamentations 3:25

"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord

more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning." Psalm 130:5-6

Now I am looking forward to expectantly to see what God is going to do in our situation and what else He is going to teach me about His character.

To Finish Well

Pinewood Derby Days

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles,

and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."

Hebrews 12:1

Last Saturday was the Pinewood Derby for our Cub Scout Pack. Benjamin and Josiah had a great time creating their cars (and thanks to Matt for helping cut out their detailed shapes!)Unfortunately, Benjamin was sick so he didn't get to see his car race but we enjoyed watching the cars compete against the others from the pack.

As I sat there I thought of how each car began the same...all the boys had an "Official Pinewood Derby" kit with a block of wood, 4 wheels and 4 axles. On race day it was amazing to see how many different designs could be made with the same materials. The cars were all designed for the same purpose...to be in the race and to hopefully win the race.

As believers we are very much like a Pinewood Derby car. We are all made to be in a race...not a race down a pinewood derby track, but the race that God has set before us. We are "shaped differently" with our gifts and personalities but our shape and gifting comes with a purpose...to be in the race and to race with our eye on the goal. We may not be the "first one down the track" but the important thing is for us to be in the race and to finish the race.

Our goal is to "run with perseverance the race marked out for us". In this season of my life with several children at home my goal is raising them and pointing them toward Christ. My desire is for them to grow up loving God with all their heart, soul, mind and strength. I also want them to see that God has uniquely designed them. God may call Courtney to be a writer, Isaiah to be a missionary, Benjamin to be a pastor, Josiah to be a football player, Caleb to be a lawyer, Whitney to be a nurse, and MaryElise to be a youth worker. Who knows? The important thing is for them to follow God with their whole heart and serve Him with the way He has gifted each one of them.

As they grow and leave home, the focus of my race will change but the goal will always be the same...to finish the race and to finish well.

Celebrating Family Friendships

I Want My Children to Be Friends

One thing that I desire as a mom is for my children to be friends. I want them to learn to love each other today and be true friends when they are adults. With seven children in the house sometimes it feels like all I do is "survive". After reading A House Full of Friends by Susan Alexander Yates, I was challenged to begin to build routines and celebrations into our family that will hopefully encourage friendships.

Our home is filled with the typical sibling rivalry experienced by most, but my hearts desire is to be intentional about providing opportunities to grow friendships in our family. One way I have done this is to begin praying for my children to be friends. My prayer is that their friendship will last a lifetime.

Some other things that I have started to encourage their friendships are:

• Birthday Posters - A day before the birthday celebration for one of our family members I get a poster board and everyone works together to create a "Happy Birthday Poster". I have also started letting the children decorate the house with streamers and even to bake the cake and decorate it too. (I must admit I had a hard time doing this because I love to do it and - I like it done neatly!) They have found great joy in being a part of getting the celebration ready.
  
• Birthday Cards - Along with the poster each child (and parent too) get a blank card and decorate it for the one we are celebrating. It gives those doing the artwork a chance to be creative, and to share how they appreciate their sibling.


• Special Blessings - I have tried to look for ways to have my children bless their brothers and sisters by celebrating special achievements or events. One example was when Courtney tried out for the play at school. She had a minor role and was an understudy. We wanted to let her know that we think she is a "star". On opening night we decorated her bedroom door with stars...so it was a "Star's Dressing Room". Each of us decorated a star with puffy paint and a short message for Courtney. It was fun and it spoke volumes of love to Courtney (the play was months ago and those stars still adorn her door).


• Attend Sporting Events - I love watching kids play sports, but it is a challenge with little ones. I cannot count the many times I have missed their one basket of the season when taking care of the little ones during the game. There have also been times when only one of us have gone to the game. It is so much easier to leave one parent at home with the little ones. However, we decided that we all need to be there to cheer on the one in the game (or on the sidelines).

I know I have a long way to go in the daily encouragement of friendship but focusing on special celebrations has been a great start in encouraging their friendships with each other.

What do you do to encourage friendship with your children?

Sweet 16

A Surprise for Courtney's 16th Birthday

Turning 16 is a special event. To celebrate Courtney's almost sixteenth birthday I decided to invite some godly women to speak a blessing into her life on this special day.

Courtney's surprise began on the way to school. We left home with Courtney believing that I was taking her to school. I handed her a journal and asked her to read the Bible verses I had written in it that morning. She read the verses but didn't turn the page. (On the next page I had a note to her explaining what we were doing.) We passed by the entrance to the school and she said, "Mom, what are you doing?" With a smile I replied, "Read the note I wrote to you in your journal."

Our first stop was at a friend's house. Marilyn and Joanna made pancakes for us. When breakfast was over Marilyn spoke to Courtney about character and the women that had impacted her own life because of who they were on the inside. She challenged Courtney with some Bible verses and spoke of qualities she has seen in Courtney's life.

Stop number two was a haircut. Michelle, Courtney's Bible study leader surprised Courtney by showing up and speaking to Courtney about beauty. She was challenged to be beautiful on the inside by cultivating her relationship with Christ. (The haircut turned out great too!)

For our third stop we went our to lunch. Courtney's best friend Marie was waiting for us in the restaurant. Marie and her mom Lynn had lunch with us as we celebrated "friendship". Then the two girls got to go shopping together and have their pictures taken.

For our fourth and final stop we met Lisa and Katie at Java. Lisa and Katie both spoke to Courtney about her relationship with God and His word in her life. This day was such an incredible blessing to Courtney and I pray that it impact her as she heard other significant adults speak a blessing into her life.